I think it's pretty funny. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. Most likely they test it BEFORE they add the extra stuff"Yep, Bob, this is some mighty pure water." Would it be cheating to fill it out again? A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! Because this is the first time I've been on a computer all day. However, Joyce's record has recently been surpassed. Wow. Gotta gothe Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. The world's longest non-life sentence, according to the "Guinness Book of Records", was imposed on Thai pyramid scheme fraudster Chamoy Thipyaso, who was jailed for 141,078 years in 1989. Space is notorious for not having air. You're only browsing it. You don't have the best life of your counterparts, but you don't have the worst either. (There's probably drugs in it). (No, I don't like any of those creepy "pop" stars. I think that they should routinly die a slow, savage, agonizing deathI was just saying a random thing that I would never, ever do.) I am going to start a protest group. He snuck up on me one day in our room (in the game) with a sword! And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. It's just a matter of degree. HmmI seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. As long as the bear blends in, you know? HmmmmI suppose I should clarify that the Pikachu game was 3-D and your character was in first person mode(you see through character's eyes). (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. Well. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. Get the best cultural and educational resources on the web curated for you in a daily email. Well, I better leave before I go on and on about more "reality" theories. And on to: Number Eight: I could haveuhhhhummmmmactually thought up these things before hand. However, I am currently content to just sit here and type. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe peoplenow that has possibilities. Bye! Or maybe I just wanna go to bed. I have checked the email from {name of the person} and will contact you. Especially since I don't have viewers. And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazyer. I know, I took you completly by suprise. Sure, certain members of my family do pay WAY to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. We could all breath a sigh of relief as parents kept their children inside, away from the evil truck drivers and near the T.V. To compound the EVIL situationI was forced to wear feminine shoes. Okay, quote is done. This highly experimental and abstract piece was published in a series of volumes beginning in 2007, with the final 19 volumes being published in 2008. I added to the lenghth of the LTE without even thinking! Yeah. I'm tired. Did I mention that, yet. HA! It's so completly garbled, it's funny. in Books, Literature, Writing | March 14th, 2019 30 Comments. And I feel weird! maybe the longest text ever. As inshe read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now. The foil will make up the beak and the folded legs, and the thruster can simulate the tail. I guess I'll just have to wait untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank truck. Well, next time you buy your $3 FREAKIN' dollar bottle of water, consider this. There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! Proud to be weird. If you can spare any of these items, please e-mail them to me. There have been several claims for the longest sentence in the English language revolving around the longest printed sentence. No, really. WaitI really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. You know you want to! I have no problem with Lit. My definition of fasion includes clothes, shoes, jewelery and all things of that nature. I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. I hope I remember doing this. Somy lack of a car and driving skills force me to use the bus, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school even starts. Math is so picky. Lots of people spoke. Isnt' that nice? At least it fills up my word quota for the day. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. But, act now, or it will be too late, and you will be one of the losers that we'll be laughing at, assuming we have air to laugh with. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). *drags reader back* See, I knew you'd stay! Untill such time that I have more. Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! I'm so happy! That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? : I've had this nagging fear that I am part of some random but vast conspiracy (about what I'm not sure but it must be vast). The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! I WANT to write. Josh says I probably won't remember writing any of this, but I can't sleep. Any way, that's it for now. I mean, after all, I made this site. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. and " You think Jenny's weird? All this information and more is yours for the low, low price of 5 payments of $29.99! It was fun, but exhausting. That dirty little rat. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. I usually have less than 30 minutes. She's my little puppyshe fears grape flavored stuff, wind, rain, television, noise, silence, small children and pretty much everything. The first time, I didn't save it. Pathetic. And then people will start reading. Of course, you also end life by sneezing, eating, sleeping, and watching T.V. That also explains why normal stuff confuses me. When you look at them they are identical to the evil little Cheez-Its. I'm so very, very tired. By Ben Lee. I probably won't later. And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. She likes sniffing potentially dangerous stuff, like electrical sockets. It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. I was alerted to this growing problem in our world community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is almondy)and it greatly concerns me. What an eccentric idea! Well, my squirell now has an arch-enemy. Wellthat just makes me filled with gooey happiness. I was looking forward to having A elective, while everyone else was enjoying three or fouror even more. 4. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. I'll will most likely still be adding to this on my death bed. You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? But, the wings were'nt really special. But then I listened to some of the new music I put on my site and mellowed out. I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. Naturally, I had many mixed feelings, primarily disgust, as I have not voluntarily eaten a Cheez-It in quite some time. Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! 11. I see. Far away. The possibilities are literally endless. It's a cheap shot." Then he preceeded to trash my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it:) I am officially back. He is pure evil. By the time you're eighty, you'll have enough ear jewelry to open up your own jewelry shop. Sure, my TEACHER said that was because I was doing the problems wrong, but once I'm the Ruler of the Laws of Nature, I'll change the problems so that I'm right! I hate irony. Here are 65 examples of long sentences ranging from the relatively brief 96 words to one of the longest sentences at 2,156 words. longest possible text for discord. Soif you wish to contribute to this great and magneficent and magestic and MOOSEY projectwe need the following things: 739 rolls of aluminium foil (preferably the extra shiny kind) 417 refridgerator boxes, 9000 rolls of "sticky on both sides" duct tape, 300 lbs of chicken feathers (preferably white) and 1 (one) thermo-nuclear-rocket-thruster. I am simply explaining why I, personally, refuse to swim, go to the beach, sunbathe, leave the house, etc. CAT CHOW!!! I'm back. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is. Hmmmmtime for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. I'm baaaaa-ack! Now I have decided to go for a world record. So here it is! Although, as I said, there's no way to prove me wrong OR right. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. Oooootime for today's topic. I'm back. I have once again caused that explody sensation in your brain meats! consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. I wonder why anyone would read this? In the mean time, I'll just sit here and type with my eyes closed. I'm gonna go hug a moose. Yep. That made him happy. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. *holds up a piece of paper, which, from a distance, appears to have writing on it* Yes, undenyable proof! There is a world where you were never born. This is a list of unusually long mathematical proofs. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioningthat's not goodI have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. That's exactly what tanning is like. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. I want an elective. I feel like I should be outraged about some topic or another. It does all my Math for me. Want to advertise with us? Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. That's just one of those many facts of life that are better left mysteries. OrI could just continue to write about finding a topic. Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. (and redundancy!) My family has always bought Cheez-Its, to the point of making me physically sick at the thought of eating one. It's strange. After all, isn't that basicly what the best teachers do? Let's seewhat have I ranted about before, subliminal messages, vast breakfast cereal conspiracies, water, uhreality tv? You might be asked a question about them on a quiz show. Are you tired. I'm tired. Think about it. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. For the love of Story. Look verbatim up. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". Like my EVIL school computer deleting my updates page. . I don't want to be in this messI'm going to bed. Get the best cultural and educational resources delivered to your inbox. claims no knowledge as to where that particullary nasty rumor started, but confirms that this is the best site ever. I'm so very, very tired. There is a world where you were never born. I gots stuff to do! You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. UNDER SUCH EXTREME HEAT, WEAR AND DEGRADATION IS INEVITABLE!! What? Oh, but I did remember what else I wanted to say to you people. Maybe I should make the link come here directlyHey! It would sneeze, then start it's eight-hour-long death hum. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. Okay, better leave. The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? dont you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost? Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugarlots and lots of sugar. :) Seeya! Ooooothats a great idea! YeahI knowpathetic. I'm glad you're not just in my life but that you're my better half. They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? Then everyone would cut and scrape themselves to be covered in scabs. After standing around a lotthe ceremony started. Especially that duct tape. The number of characters in the longest word is also shown. While she writes every day, shes also devoted to her own creative outletEmma hand-draws illustrations and is currently learning 2D animation. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! I want SOME free time. Who would have thought I have this much free time? Welltwo can play by THOSE rules. The whole meal thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. Follow him at@jdmagness, by Josh Jones | Permalink | Comments (30) |. But it's all good. Imagine a number line that points in the positive and negative direction. *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) We're not sure. That's why I like fast-food salt. Thank you Squirell. These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. I am writing to let you know that I have received an email from {name of recipient}. I said "The Union fought" With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" Longest math problem copy and paste According to Sciencealert, the longest math equation contains around 200 terabytes of text. It's okay. What if the smoke detectors have tiny litte cameras in them? The answer is still infinity. Surely you have heard of her? What does this mean to you? I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! Pikachuwellhe didn't like me. I haven't exactly advertised this site. Wellbetter go before one of my two and half sane readers falls asleep:) Seeya! Or perhaps not. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! Still no? Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. I even impress myself. Then the problem with obesity in America would be blamed on evil food truck drivers as opposed to the harmless, benificient television and computer. Oh, well. Making me(The Patron Saint of Paperclips) the Ruler of the Laws of Nature! It's a small light, but it's sooooooo annoying. VisitMy Modern Met Media. You complete me in all ways. That's right, I wanna sleep. My school system is stuck in the pastand formal attire meansa dressa white dress(for those you who never bothered to find outI am indeed female). It even SOUNDS weird. In any case, my theory means that playing video games is very cruel. But, you should know that, since you like reading. It's wrong, I tell you. Open Culture scours the web for the best educational media. And don't even get me started on earrings. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. Sodoesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). *pauses* Oh. Add comment. I know. My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better goI think that I may have a problem brewing. I's making fake soundtracks like the teacher told me! Lots of gooey talent. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. I know, unlikely, huh? I have neither won nor lost money/neopoints. Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. Anyway, like the "diet supplement" people, the earring manufacturers KNOW that once they pierce you, you'll be hooked for life. Woooo! Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! And still frustrated. Next to the Really Big Button, of course. No? I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. I was almost completly covered in (fake) bloodit was sticky toward the end. After complaining how hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out of the resteraunt, instructing the rest of us to "enjoy our meals". In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemenif you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. Somehow, I managed to make my furby die. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. Okay, back to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! The longest word entered in most standard English dictionaries is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis with 45 letters. It makes me sad*sniffle* WellI feel better now. I have very low expectations of my site. Otherwise you'd think I was delusional, or something. 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! It seems like blaggerent plagerism. Here I am, trying to get a decent nights sleep and there's this green light that periodically blinks to red directly in front of me. And the preceding generations became brain-washed (possibly through subliminal messages in sun-tan lotion commercials) to believe tans were expected. These people have obviously suffered major brain damage from their prolonged exposure to the sun. I'm so special. Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. Did you know that there is over two miles of air sitting on you right now? She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". We had to do an essay on a book. What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. That's what they need to do with the water. It's a time honored tradition. When I win 500np on a normal game, I move to the 500 point. The best way to be brief is to quit now. Speaking of virtual pets, I'm revamping the ones on this site. TWEET. Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . there were bugs. If you can sleep through a raging fire, close enough to set off the smoke detector, then you are definitly going to sleep through the smoke detector. You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. I mean, I've been doing this much, much longer than the other person. See, very weird. First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. You mean that I'm just randomly responding regardless of your reactions? Just like a real psychologist. One guy was a "shock therepy" patienthe was a good actor. Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. Pythagoras Theorem is a + b = c. We thank you! I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. Thou shalt not eat spuds. I thought it was sadand normal. Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. Waitaren't I already doing that? I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! And I don't really have a topic today. So if you have an infinite number of people, some are going to have entire books of coherent stuff. I thought of another very good reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony! Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. I wonder what it's name would be. Similarly, it also displays the longest word used in the text. BYE!!! were stuck in here, (alone my dear) and well problem never get out so dont start to shout. DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published (2020), by humor writer Dave Cowen, consists of one sentence that runs for 111,111 words, and is a stream of consciousness memoir. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. Oh, who am I kidding. In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. I know where you are right now! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. Those are the best kind. The magic eight-ball is a plastic casing with an unknown, possibly toxic liquid inside. How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? I'm back. What has the world come to? In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light help night-vision cameras see in the dark? What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? *sniffle* I just want to have some FREAKIN' variety in my daily grind, you know? This is a test, I repeat only a test. We think. I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. Now, correct me if I'm wrongbut Iraq? I have to get up really early to leave for home. With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. Girls began wearing skimpier, and skimpier bathing suits. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the dayI know. Sometimes I crack myself up. And secret? Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. I am here to bring AWARNESS to your moosey soul! If that's not a vast conspiracy, then nothing on this Earth is. My little, eviler sister got her ears pierced when she was relativly younger. Because what you're saying is that I'm talking to people in the future. Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? That's the point you're trying to get across? "Meg" wrote it for a school assignment. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkners 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! School is taking its toll. The sentence below was found in a legal contract, and was until recently the longest sentence we had seen in an official document. I love my work, I love the kids I work with. Never mind. How did Faulkner pull it off? is a question many a fledgling writer has asked themselves while struggling through a period of apprenticeship like that novelist John Barth describes in his 1999 talk My Faulkner. Barthreorchestrated his literary heroes, he says, in search of my writerly selfdownloading my innumerable predecessors as only an insatiable green apprentice can. Surely a great many writers can relate when Barth says, it was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. For many a writer, the Faulknerian sentence is an irresistible labyrinth. Or his mom did. Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? I know it was her idea, 'cause my dad hates it, too. And hotand smoky. as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. Good. Won't that be fun? Humor the crazy person, okay? And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. i'm back. Aren't I special? Keep pressing it. You knowI enjoy having these conversations with you. I sure am. I can usually fall back asleep (if I don't panic and think I'm late for school), but the stupid thing wakes me up again exactly seven hours after I originally fell asleep. To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which Im sure you have a copy of. Noone can do everything, so how can you expect a SIGN, with the I.Q. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. Is that too much to ask? Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. I get done at 9:15. I don't want to play the stupid animal war card game 'cause the stupdi bear gets eaten by an eaagle.. goodbye ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd. As you can see, I was in a very interesting state of mind. AwwwwwI'm touched! At least it's over. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. MY SPINE IS SQUISHY! become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. It's the same concept. And what did he do to me? Emma has contributed to various art and culture publications, with an aim to promote and share the work of inspiring modern creatives. Plus, boxes are more convient than bags. The boat sailed on . It doesn't. I'm back. Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? Okay. Then I completly understand. I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! Sowhen the oracle said that the choice had already been made, she was completely correct. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. So am I. Anyway, sorry for the lack of relative weirdness, conspiracy theories and doughnuts (my Moose ate them all). When I play a gambling game, there is a possibility that I'll lose everything, so I start on negative however much NP I have with me. "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" YOU'RE ALL ZOMBIE THIGH-FAT PEOPLE BROUGHT INTO ANIMATION BY SOME EVIL FORCE OF FORCEFUL EVIL!!! I'm backand it's several hours later. Or, would that be good? Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. Because it is in those veyr colors that the Matrix is programmed! Goodbye! . But I HATE spending three hours of every day in a "class" when everyone else's class is only an hour and a half. I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. Just "imagine" I have more!? I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. But people buy name brands. But I must. 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. | 13.41 KB, JSON | And insanity. Hey, I'm back again! This is chaos. Well, seeya *waves brightly* I got to go to my Grendel (really cool book) project for school.
