Prodromal labor can last all day and into the night before stopping for a few hours. I think there should be another thread about crap husands pull after the baby is born. Nice. Or speaking to each other in limited statements, such as Jack just shat his pants or the toilet is blocked. DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. I had read a list of what to pack on a baby website. This behavior will shorten his lifespan, increase his odds of developing certain types of cancers, raise his weight, sap his energy, and generally make things miserable. Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. Also, alcoholic parents have a higher incidence of raising alcoholic children. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. And then I was really shocked when talking with an older lady at church who told me she went into labor naturally on Dec. 31, 1964, and the maternity ward was . Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. My lovely ex husband was irritated that I was deciding to have the child on overtime hours and he He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. Once emergency responders had arrived and . Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. Haha Im going to have to share these stories with my boyfriend so he knows not to mess up next time. Hes only a casual race fan, btw. Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. He had fallen back asleep. So I called him to tell him to hurry and get there. Thanks for the laughs though! I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. 5 drinks a night sounds like a problem bigger than just worrying about having a sober ride to the hospital. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. It is quite difficult to deal with an alcoholic husbands emotional abuse. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. At that point I told him that if I were to go into labor and he was drunk he WOULD NOT be there for the birth of our baby. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. My dear husband decides its a good idea to take a work call on the bluetooth/speakers in the car! With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. Nothing until we got home. Just have a back-up plan ready so you don't need to stress about himmaybe a family member lives close by? My husband was trying to time my contractions to see when we should go to the hospital. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. It's like a moron twilight zone in here. In order to do you, you might push your husband to loneliness, which eventually will lead to far more serious issues than now. She told him and he freaked out, made himself puke (totally tmi) and then was a paranoid mess the whole drive to the hospital. I guess I was just a little worn out from the AGONIZING LABOR AND DELIVERY OF YOUR CHILD THAT I JUST ENDURED YOU-F&!KING-MORON-WHO-DECIDED-TO-EAT-POPEYES!!. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. All. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. . They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. That first night, my husbands parents took him to eat a fancy steak dinner while I was stuck in the hospital eating cafeteria food and playing hostess to15 or so unannounced visitors who all showed up at the same time. 5. Youve got to be kidding me?! The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. We get down to the car and he gets in the passenger side! All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. Grab Now! He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. After your first childbirth, labor usually takes less time. How long has it been since you had a drink? These are hilarious! Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. Thanks. You don't want him to not be able to function when the baby needs to be cared for during the night. I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. Don't take anything personally. It's annoying, but it's not like he sits down and pounds hard alcohol or something. I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses! I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. Carol, Id love to know what you did to him between baby 3 and baby 4! Try to apeal to the protector in him and let him know how much you need him there. Lol, it's not the first time it's happened. When we face problems we cannot solve, we work on someting we can. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. With our third i forgot something to wear home and baby outfits so he had to go shopping for me and lets just say men DO NOT know how to shop for women or babies!!! I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? There might have been pee before I got all hooked up. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. Maintaining a positive mindset and a hopeful attitude can be difficult at times when you are dealing with an addiction problem. "When I [give] with just with my doula and midwife alone, I can allow myself to do whatever is needed to get the baby out," she says. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. For many women, pregnancy can be a stressful time. Im straight, but if I ever go into labor Ill probably wish I had a wife. I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. E had a little trouble at first and I needed stitches, so DH stayed with us until 2am before he ran home to let our dogs out to go to the bathroom and he never did tell me if he needed to clean anything up while he was there! Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. ).Seems this would not be good even after the baby is born. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. And spell it out that being there means being sober for the next few weeks, (and really after the baby comes). Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. As soon as the dr left, I yelled at my hubby to get up and he acted offended! You'd like to get my newsletter! I don't believe Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective, personally, but it's free and the meetings are plentiful, so it might be a good place to start. an hour later, he arrived 15 minutes before our daughter did. We had time though E was scheduled to be induced and, although I didnt realize it, I was actually in labor the whole night before. Joanish, My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasnt nervous at all because Ive seen this a million times with cows. OR MAYBE you've been putting it off for awhile and you're doing it because you know you need to stop procrastinating! -Kirsti, My husband asked if he could borrow one of my pillows, because his back hurt and I had too many. We went anyway, and I was 5 cm dilated with double back labor. You know, because that is how alcoholism works. He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. My DH never drinks like that, unless we're headed out for a crazy night with friends (every once in a while) or to a wedding or something. He never got that chance. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. My husband and I have had our problems with his drinking in the past. I come into the living room and give her a kiss. Promote a faster and healthier labor. So, that's the fvcked up part. Posted 6/9/10. I went it alone and met up with him after surgery where he was holding the baby smiling, refreshed and relieved. After 36 hours of labor and 40 minutes of pushing, my husband had to help the nurses suction our daughter out of me. He ran away because he said he had business at work he had to attend to. Having. I was on the bouncy ball for a half hour waiting and then went to check on him. 3. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! When he stopped drinking for a month, we conceived right away. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? He was only slightly better with our third. He was waiting for my sister to get home so that my car didnt get left in the parking lot. My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. laughing gas has been used as a form of pain relief since the late 1900's, although you're more likely to see it at the dentist's office than a birth center. My informal plan was to attempt medication-free vaginal . We went for a lot of walks. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. I know what it feels like! Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. 1 Answer. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Needless to say, I snapped but couldnt yell at him in fear of waking up my sister (our babysitter) and our 2-year old. Money was scarce. He did much better the second time. Take their thoughts and opinions into consideration before you make any decisions. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. We couldnt wake him up, he was barely opening his eyes when the baby crowned. Haha! I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. And when they do, take them to the professional instead of trying to make things right on your own. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. All for a free parking spot!!! Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. The biggest sign that the bloody show has occurred is you may notice a bloody mucus discharge from your vagina. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. I was laying on the bed playing And E was sitting in my desk chair. Prodromal labor can be as painful and uncomfortable as 'real' labor. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. So my dad went bowling. He says to her Oh, the hospital said theyd call me as soon as anything happened As he was saying the words he knew hed made a mistake. Raspberry Leaf Tea. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! -Meredith, My husband had ONE job, ONE. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. There is no pattern. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Police raided a pregnant woman's home wrongly suspecting her husband stole a snowblower; she ended up in jail, in labor, and experts say, illegally in shackles. Two days later, he picked us up from the hospital and wanted me to make eggplant parmesan from scratch cause we had a new oven. men are so egomaniacal in general. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. My car, my car! he said with horror. Its so crazy, right? The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. It is also important to seek professional marriage counseling if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. Yeah. The worst expectation you as a wife to an alcoholic husband may have is to expect a change overnight. The tank was on empty so we stopped at the gas station. My husband and I heeded the advice and packed a bunch of snacks. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. The most common mistake a wife often makes is that she starts blaming herself for her alcoholic husband. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. I had just done the majority of the labouring at home, in silence, (Because apparently Im now a Scientologist) not wanting to bother the pissed irresponsible husband and he was a little bit tired? I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. So when I couldnt reach him for 40 min, I freaked out. Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. If we go anywhere and he has more than 2 drinks I drive home. He slept it off too long, that should be the only issue, nit that he ate. I woke up at 2 am when my water broke, shook my husband awake and told him. He doesn't drink that much EVERY night, but it happens, and I just KNOW with my luck, he will drink that much on the night I go into labor. Alcoholics don't just drink hard liquorWTF? "I finally snapped and said that I wasn't going to name my child an ugly name that I don't like for the sake of a woman that doesn't even like me," she writes. As if I wasnt even there, In front of them. I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. Ask the medical staff questions. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. I feel your pain! While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. Ignore your husband's alcoholism and start getting used to doing things as a single parent. Oh. And then I would unleash hell. My wife had a 24 hour labor that ended up in an emergency c-section. What else am I supposed to do?-Tina, In the delivery room, my husband went into hypoglycemic shock because he hadnt eaten in 48 hours.
