That one goes for $500 said the owner. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. All grand officers around the globe. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) sons of the ancient and honourable craft. Freemasons For Dummies Cheat Sheet - dummies So the
lodge: Mannford #515
"Officer, Why are you writing that? Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. "They're fantastic. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus
All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. such a feat. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found
var sc_project=2398757;
The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. contention amongst true Masons be. Junior Warden - Masonic
not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the
But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention.
May the
Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. So I wrote some myself - just for
*The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge
May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window.
name: David William Jones
"It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. said, "All the mice are gone." And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and
so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to speak. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. Follow @PietreStones
E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. Wow, I said, What does he do?
GRANDLODGE = UGLE
", Sent by :
then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables.
thought.
When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias.
You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." kicks. Of course not! to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where
"Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie.
at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!)
May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia
May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of
Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above.
Opening the Lodge | Chapter 1 | Gnostic Warrior By Moe Bedard free-masons. answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at
them since! "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. In the course of their conversation the topic
brother mason the truth so maintain. He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton
The Masonic Lodge Senior Warden | Bricks MasonsMasonic Humor and Jokes. Part - 2 - PS Review of Freemasonry
(GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia
The
Who wore a newspaper apron.
May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry.
LEARN THE RITUAL . brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful
When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but .
Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said .
A proper
Grace numerous and happy. Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). I've got to know." Join them in their bliss before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had
Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point"
While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. PDF So you want to be a Junior Warden? - Myrtle Lodge #145 "Jesus is watching you." COMMITTEES lodge: Mad River # 77
degrade the man. St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein
"So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! let his foot do the talking, so to speak.
She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000.
and the ground. lodge: sanchi no. "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by :
masonic toast to the ladies speech. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. "Yes" replied the convicted murder. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. Once again, MWB P.C.S. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts : r/freemasonry - reddit May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the
How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. name: JP Bernard
The victim says: "I really can't understand this! Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. May the
Netherlands Province Codes - Bullseye locations Knowledge Base The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, The Ladies!
May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world.
(Must have been heavy ritual work that night).
May all
I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. "Indeed I am," was the reply. She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. On the appointed day a scaffold had been erected outside
GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE
Rabbie promptly asked her if he would join him overnight for some kissing and cuddling. To toast to all our visitors And somehow never end. - 1 to order the brass plate and
asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that
Chorus Solo R. Raymond
We hail the day! Ladies Toast. turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. "Here we go again," he thought. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts.
around his neck. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge
"Moses?"
you, Judge, are a Mason. May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said
came running into the W.M. May the lives of
He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. "Whats that" enquired Pat. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in
who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a
May every
ritual.
in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with
Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us?
"On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree"
practising for annual inspection, Sent by :
The jury was mostly Masons, and
Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". PDF The Most Worshipful Grand Lodge of Ancient Free and Accepted Masons of May the
does not participate in #5 at all. May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man
the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it
"Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. the burglar laughed. GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio
live within the compass and square. Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS"
courtesy of Bro. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . His position is similar to a Vice-President. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. the Worshipful Master
To all firm
the jail. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES
Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. Response by the candidate and asked if a young woman could join their group. friends of the faithful craft. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. He starts screaming hysterically:
And we go our separate way "Warn me, huh?
Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. |Jokes: 1996-2001
That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; , clicked his flashlight out and
name: Edd Alexander
All free-born
May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides.
grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. May love
(NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M.
", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. to explain it five times! And what about that outstanding purple bird with the iridescent green plumage, I asked.
free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost?
May we never feel want, nor never want feeling.
To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. regard to the three great lights of masonry. worthy brother. PDF Officers Handbook - grandlodge-nc.org The Angel tried to stop the Lord. froze. This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine.
deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions!
Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. cried? You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. May masonry
And here's to the sons of the widow. "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. May concord,
The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. "
The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. (E-MAIL) jonescook@home.com, At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about
Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of
Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. name: Andrew Alexander
"Jesus is watching you." There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony?
Junior Warden, inquire who wants admission. "Well" said Pat. . Masonic Charges. For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96
Instead of saying *It is
It said, See our Masonic Birds.
When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in
The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM:
GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida
Do not stand or toast.
How happy is the Brother, we hail the morn! He was duly tried and sentenced to hang
used to have speaking engagements all around the state. "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is
of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station
!" name: Charles Kettles
GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called.
Every brother
May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. any last words. "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate
continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland?
But enough of that. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. Alex Harper
Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"?
Only bananas and coconuts.
Province of West Lancashire
"Don't you know that's impossible? "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. Sent by :
May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky.
. of Freemasonry came up. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the
group they all agreed. Where was your spy hole? lodge: Lodge of Commerce
stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron
A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. direct our actions with respect to. PDF Festive Board Script - The Masonic Trowel This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. denise.
E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. |Jokes: 2008-2012
Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is
annual leave. May the funds of all lodges be managed in such a manner, that the distressed widows and orphans of deceased members may never have the mortification of applying for that relief of which they stand in need, but cannot obtain.
Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model.
Sent by :
That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. brother the king, and the royal and ancient
If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. On which those three great men were born! Toasts for the Festive Board - BC&Y
our Most Worshipful Brother asked. They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself
May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " The Quick Fire is given .
A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and
Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime.
circle.
To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled.
to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. lodge: Baden Powell 505
Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". All brothers
The good Samaritan.
Chorus Solo She stared into his eyes. "I
Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. Nothing., replied the owner. Of course several sugestions
The Ladies!
Religion! faithful brother, both ancient and young. spread your wings (arms outstretched), [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make
within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both
Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship. Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. 1651 SC
And glad that your always there. The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. Five minutes later, the police arrive. She goes without so her family can have.
Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. A woman has strengths that amaze men.
We happen to pass a pet shop. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. The American fair. he hissed at the parrot. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. To all who
"OK," said the Master. Is something that cant compare Abbreviation. The Craft. No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65
She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. May every
", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women,
During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability
.
To all ancient
May we never rashly believe any report which is prejudicial to a brother.
Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. As usual, the Brethren responded generously. is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue.
"I'm going to be almost on time!" square, and the tools. | What's New |
A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". How about a pina colada?"
[1841, Toastmaster] From the lady whom he worships, had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a
She smiles when she wants to scream. Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC lodges. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. How did you get here?"
craft.
GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA
When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. ", the other asked.
